Things To Keep Private About Your Relationship


Most people love to talk and almost everyone loves to talk about themselves. Family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances all lend us an ear from time to time and with that ear open, it's a perfect time to discuss whatever is on our mind. It may be a great opportunity to get a few things off your chest, however, there are some things that may be best left out of your daily discussions. Find out what these things are and no matter how tempting it may be to vent a little, zip it shut!

1. When your sex life is lacking. Here’s the scenario - You and your honey are in a dry spell and Bunny Up Moments seem to be few and far between. You confide with your best friend about your frustrations and they tell you “I know the feeling! It’s been four months for us!” That may give you a brief sigh of relief knowing your friends are going through the same thing. Misery loves company and all, but those discussions don’t do you or your relationship any good. Your friend might be trying to help, but these discussions tend to justify the situation and offer little in the form positive solutions. Knowing others are going through the same or similar situation can have a “normalizing effect” and does not identify the problems and effective solutions. If you’re having problems in the bedroom, you should have an open and honest discussion with your partner, identify the various problems and potential solutions, then get busy! Work schedules, school, kids, pets and everything else under the sun can put your intimate relationship in a slump, but there are various solutions for every problem. If you need some ideas to spice things up, get a copy of The Bunny List Book or The Art Of The Quickie.

2. When your in-laws piss you off! In-laws can be difficult at times and your natural response might be to bitch about them, but you might want to bite your tongue or just go for a walk. They might be having an off day, you may be having an off day or the might just be difficult to deal with. Regardless of the scenario, running your mouth feel good at the moment, but the words you throw might come around to bite you later. Saying something negative that might eventually get back to your honey will no doubt start some crap later. You don’t need the headache and your relationship does not need the aggravation.

1. When your partner reveals their sexual fantasy. Most of us have sexual fantasies in one form or another. Some may be deemed innocent as with a romantic picnic under a mighty oak, atop a rolling flowery landscape and others may be, well, sinful at best (I’ll let your own imagination run wild there). Revealing sexual fantasies are sure to come with a certain level of anxiety for those in a committed relationship. Exposing your inner most desires could potentially compromise your relationship in a variety of ways. If your partner has revealed their sexual fantasies to you, they trust you and they feel you will continue to respect them even after this information is revealed. When revealing this information to you, they more than likely considered the pro’s and con’s of telling you, however, odds have it they were not considering how other people would respond to this information. That’s usually because there’s a certain level of trust and expectation to keep private matters private. It may be tempting to share this information with a close family member or best friend, but if word gets out that you shared this information with others, the trust within your relationship could potentially take a devastating blow. Why risk it? If you’re not comfortable with your partners fantasies, discuss it with them, not others. Clear communication can solve most problems within a relationship. Destroying the trust within your relationship is never a good idea. Keep it private!

1. When one of you cheat. Your relationship between you and your partner belongs to you and your partner, nobody else. If one of you has a physical or emotional affair, that issue belongs to you both as well, nobody else. You may feel the need to discuss some things to family and friends, but that usually does more harm than good in the long run. Think about it for a minute. If your partner cheats on you, you start talking about the affair to another person and word gets to your brother, sister, parents or friends, they will never look at your partner the same. They will no longer respect your partner and every time there’s an issue in your relationship, those in the know will have an ax to grind against your partner. If you are having issues in your relationship that involve one of you cheating, it’s best to keep that information private. Your relationship does not need the long term negative effects of other people knowing about infidelity in your relationship. However, if you have decided to get a divorce, tell your family. You will want and need their support.

5. When your partner is going through something private. If your partner is going through something private and they discuss the issue with you, it’s quite obvious they trust you, respect your opinion and feel you should know about what’s going on. This, however, should not be construed as a desire for other people to know their private business. Don’t violate the trust and respect between you by telling others. If they want other people to know, they will let them know or will tell you it’s ok for you to let them know. Always maintain the highest level of trust and respect within your relationship.

6. When there are money issues in your relationship. Our financial lives are challenging enough as it is. Managing our financial lives is never easy and it may become increasingly difficult when other people put their two cents into your financial matters. It’s easy to give people opinions and advice, especially when you don’t have to pay for those decisions and deal with the consequences. You can always count on other people to justify an expense by saying “you deserve it”, but they don’t have the financial priorities and obligations you have. If you and your partner are having financial challenges, that should be kept private as well. Financial challenges usually follow poor decisions and recovering from a poor decision is hard enough. Your relationship does not need the additional embarrassment that comes with other people knowing about poor financial decision you or your partner may have made. If you are facing financial challenges, there are professional (and free) resources out there to help guide you through your issues without having family and friends think negatively toward you and your partner.

7. When your partner has a personal problem or issue that turns you off. If your partner has something going on that turns you off, keep that stuff private! You may be inclined to vent a little or seek advice from someone regarding the issue at hand, but don’t discuss the issue with someone that could potentially embarrass your partner down the road. If it’s an issue that can be solved, seek professional advice. If it’s not something that can be solved, but more of a personal insecurity, just keep it to yourself for your relationships sake. Never violate the trust and respect within your relationship


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